Last night’s Ambien-ism

31. July 2009 by Bex.

Some of you know that I am on a drug called Ambien.  It helps you sleep.  I take it every night because certain problems in my brain prevent me from sleeping.  Anyways, I like to record some of my more interesting conversations with Ron that I have when the Ambien kicks in.  I almost never remember anything about these discussions.  Sometimes, I hate to admit, I get mad at Ron for stupid reasons; but sometimes I apparently am very amusing.  (Not long ago I apparently became angry with Ron because he giggled at me when I said something silly.  I left the room and laid down in the guest room.  Ron found me in there watching Spanish softcore porn on HBO.  I remember NONE of this.)

Last night I apparently told Ron that I would like to check out the library where knickers are optional.  (Wtf?  I never say “knickers!”)  I then threw my underwear at him.  When he tried to get me to go to sleep, he asked if I was planning on removing my glasses.  I was convinced that he also needed to remove his, however he wasn’t wearing any.  I then groped his face to find his glasses and remarked he didn’t seem to actually be wearing them.  He told me they were there, only very thin, and I had just broken them.  “Huh,” I said.  Then I rolled onto my back and within seconds, was asleep.

This is why you should NEVER take this drug around someone you don’t trust or if you live alone.  Or for god’s sakes, don’t take it on an overnight plane trip.  You might be arrested for running around naked, insisting that a warning should exist for the water because it induces biscuits on the penis.

Seriously.  All of you should give Ron props for taking care of my goofy ass.

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