6. March 2010 by Bex.

Holy shit, long time no blog!  I’d like to say there is nothing new in my life but there is tons going on.  So here is an update:

First off:  We beat Bioshock 2 just in time for the March 11th expansion pack. I haven’t planned any of the online portions of the game yet so I can’t really say much about the multiplayer, online death matches.  However the story was good for a sequel and the graphics, though at first seemed grainy, turned out to be really awesome.  I thought the game was harder overall with more melee type attacks.  Playing it on easy gave you a lot of hints that seemed a little unnecessary but that’s ok too.  I love the art deco themes and the characters are interesting.

Second:  Lasik went awesome!  I can see!  It was horribly uncomfortable and while they give you a lot of valium, that just wears right off when you are under the laser.  It was nice that my husband was allowed to sit in there with me and I clawed the shit out of his hand during the procedure.  But the awfulness lasted only about 20 minutes followed by a horrible ride home.  I took something to help me sleep and by the time I woke up 4 hours later, I felt worn out but fine.  I did have to wear some groovy blinders at night for a few days to keep me from scratching my eyes.

I had some lovely impressions in my flesh every morning.  But it turned out really well and I’m happy with it.  No more contacts or glasses.  Schweet.

I’ve been working pretty hard at my health shit.  I found some books at the Half Price Bookstore which talk about fibromyalgia and endometriosis.  I’m working on a symptom and food diary to try to pinpoint triggers.  During this time I’ve had a fever that came out of nowhere and am trying to figure out if there is any rhyme or reason to things like that.  So we’ll see what comes of this new experiment.  I still would like to lose the rest of the 40lbs I gained.  That means I have another 15-20lbs to go.  Being overweight and chronically ill is not easy.  It just exacerbates all your shit.

No new pets and no pets have passed away, no matter how old and infirm they are.   I’m starting Patton on obedience classes this coming week.  I hope that when he gets over his fear of oh…..EVERYTHING….he will be able to start training for a therapy dog program.  Our vet seems to think he’d be excellent at it because of his very mellow temperament.  He went in today to get his distemper shot and a heart worm test. He’s a very sweet dog and I think he’d be a great ambassador for his part Staffordshire Terrier breed.  So many Pit mixes like him are put down right away or taken from their homes in cities with breed bans.  We are learning a lot about this because of our involvement with a pit bull rescue.  This volunteer work has been very rewarding as well as educational.  Just to get it out there, I fucking hate the media.  I hate them all.  Their mission is to sell news by freaking the shit out of everyone in a community.  Period.  Misinformation be damned!  We have to sell newspapers, ratings, etc!  Fuck the truth!  Ok sorry, I’m off my soapbox for now.

Last couple of thing:  I’m going to take a pinup photography class next weekend.  I’m going by myself, which for a hermit, is a big deal.  I’m freaked out by social situations like this but I think it will be fun and informative.  I think the new pin up style with the tatts and vintage/rockabilly themes are awesome.  This all proceeds the Pinups for Pit Bulls event in KC on the 19th.  I’m all for animal rescue organizations, beer and music.  Now, what to wear?  No clue…  The last item of discussion is that I really want another tattoo.  I’m trying to find something that reminds me of my mother.  Yesterday was the 26th anniversary of her passing.  A long ass time ago.  I really miss her and would like my next tatt to be something to do with her. Ron is pretty ready for more ink so we’re going to investigate some new tattoo parlors.   And finally, I hope to hit up the roller derby around the end of the month.  It’s going to be a girls night comprised of women I work with.  I think we’re going to get a little drunk and watch some chicks on roller skates beat the crap out of each other.  That should be fun!

I’ll update my blog with another stitch or two when the time is right.  I’ve got some ideas on the burner for new embroidery and I’m excited to get started.  So overall things are good but everyday is a learning experience.  Some times I fuck up royally and other days I have things in control.  I can’t seem to predict from one day to the next how it’s going to go.  Just doing the best I can!

Tschus.

Posted in Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, Crafts, Embroidery, Video Games, Dogs, Animals, Hobbies | 1 Comment »

31. December 2009 by Bex.

This morning I was having a nightmare…something about being in a house and not being able to go near windows or doors because a killer was taking out the inhabitants of the house.  It was scary and gory.  All the sudden I felt Ron grip my leg and it sounded like Rowdy was gasping.  Ron whipped off the covers and headed to his bed while I turned on the light.  Rowdy was having a seizure.  I’ve never seen anyone or any animal have one before.  I managed to get the strap of a backpack in his mouth to try to stop him from clamping down on his tongue.  Then I ran and got the number for the emergency vet while Ron tried to comfort Rowdy.  I just bawled and bawled.  By the time we got him in the car and drove to the vet about 4AM, his seizure had stopped.

All while I held him in the car I kept thinking “this is it.  Today we say goodbye to him.”  But the vet said we had the option to watch him and if he seizes again, to get him on some medication.  They ran some bloodwork and talked to us about all the options we have.  We chose to take him home and observe him until our regular vet opened up.  Ron talked to our vet and he said the same things.  Right now we are just going to watch him; see how he eats, if he is disorientated, in pain, can go to the bathroom, etc.  I just wish he could slip away quietly in his sleep and take away the decision from us.

So here we sit, watching him pace around the house, then he gets tired and lays down.  He’s eating and wanting to be petted so that’s good.  I feel pretty horrible right now.  Such is life.

Posted in Dogs | 2 Comments »

30. December 2009 by Bex.

I should be trying to eat better and clean out my system after pigging out so much over Christmas.  We didn’t do a damn thing but eat and play video games.  I got my wish for a white Christmas and we were snowed in.  So far the roads are pretty passable which is good when one must make it to work.  I’d rather be snowed in at home though.  The dogs liked their snow time and it was very beautiful outside.  I’m ready for the weekend already though as I’ve been fighting a lovely sinus infection and finally succumbed to antibiotics.  They are kicking my ass.

Here are some photos from our Christmas.  Nothing terribly exciting but at least it was peaceful.

The drainage ditch behind the house.  I cropped out the rotted mattress someone threw down there about a year and a half ago.

We didn’t exactly primp for our photo shoot but dammit we still look cute.

Sadie enjoyed playing catch with the snowballs.

Ron has quite the smart ass sense of humor.  Good thing Rowdy was protected on the other side of the glass.

Here is Rowdy taking a nap the other day.  He’s so old and losing weight.  Not because of anything in particular but because he hates his bland diet.  So tonight he had boiled rice and cooked ground beef.  Lucky guy, eh?

This is typically what Patton looks like when I wake up on the weekends.  We sleep in together.  And nap together.  He curls up in a little brindle ball and snoozes on the bed.

Final dog photo for the day.  Last Monday was Sadie’s 13th birthday.  My baby is a teenager now.

So other then snow and pets, we’ve been playing a lot of video games.  We are almost done with Mario on the Wii.  The final Bowser section SUCKS.  This game was a lot harder then any other Mario games I’ve played.  I think it’s mostly because trying to coordinate on a platform game with someone else playing is not easy.  Both of us try to jump in the same spot at the same time.  There is much cursing in this game.

We also made it through one run of Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles.  I like how they brought elements from several other RE games.  It was pretty fun and the shaky camera made head shots harder yet more enjoyable.  I would like to run through it again at a harder setting.

Finally, we made it through Left 4 Dead 2 which was a lot more fun then the first one.  The ai’s were annoying as shit but the weapons were better and the levels were a little longer.  I especially like the melee weapons which included a frying pan, guitar and chainsaw.

So I don’t have a lot more to share.  Well, someone asked me to photograph her in a tasteful, nude shoot.  That was unexpected.  I don’t mind doing it though as nudity really doesn’t bother me that much as long as I’m the one behind the camera.  I definitely need more lessons with the camera though and I think my peeps in the local KC Flickr group are going to be a big help.  Gotta love networking with others through the net.  It’s been a life saver for me with all my social phobias and tendencies to hole myself up in my house 24-7.  Hey who knows.  Maybe I’ll get a side biz taking nudies of people.  Wouldn’t that be interesting?  “Not now junior, mommy has to take photographs of people’s junk.”  That would rock.

Be well dear friends.

Tschus.

Posted in Photography, Flickr, Dogs, Video Games, Health | 1 Comment »

12. August 2009 by Bex.

Yay, another prescription for a controlled substance.  Hopefully I won’t need it long; just until I can wean off the Cymbalta fully.  God, I hope this works.  I’m tired of feeling like my brain is going through a meat grinder.  So that makes it three controlled substances I’m on.  Wow.  And yet I somehow manage to still get to work most days of the week.  That’s a little fucked up, isn’t it?

Speaking of meat, I am off red meat now, including pork.  And for some reason I can only seem to eat fish when it is raw.  Fresh sushi doesn’t taste like the bottom of a cesspool.  Yet cooked fish does.  Wtf?  It just grosses me out.  Plus it feels like my tastes have changed lately.  No, not pregnant…trust me.  I did read, however, that changing one’s diet can help with certain health issues I have.  So getting rid of red meat might help.  I also need to get rid of alcohol, carbonated beverages, fatty foods and anything else you can think of that is good tasting and bad for you.  Damnit.  I’m working on it though.  Doesn’t help that I do this with the scary Estrogen Monster looming over me.

By the way, I googled “Estrogen Monster” and came up with this image:

That made me giggle a lot.  Ha!  There’s nothing like a pissed off Muppet.

That takes me to another image I saw years ago and this also is a good one:

However I’ve never seen this one before:

Ok one more…just because I like it:

What else….Rowdy gave us a little scare.  We went to the lake and did our cabin thing for a night.  We came home early because we all felt like shit: back ache, sunburn, tired and sore.  Rowdy had too much activity and we thought he was a goner.  Thankfully he is on some good drugs (more addicts in the family!) and will be ok.  He’s just an old dog and can only take so much.  It didn’t help that last weekend was hellishly hot and humid.  Here are some lake shots:

The boat we rented was a little fishing boat which was fine until we came back against the tide.  Every ripple we hit was like hitting a cement curb.  We all got jarred quite a bit.  But it was cheap and fun.  The water felt great and didn’t stink of algae like I remember Patterson Lake smelling.

It was good to get away and even better to come back to our own creature comforts, like a pillow top mattress.  I wish I had the fortune of some of those other people we saw over the weekend who were hauling swanky RVs and big-ass boats.  But we had a nice time anyway, even as short as it was.  I’m having a hard time getting into work this week but before I know it, the week will be over.  Thank God.

I think my mind has strayed enough for the time being.  Everyone is pretty silent these days…are you all on vacation?  Bored of the blog?  Sick?  Busy?  In a coma and having an out-of-body experience?  Hehee, whatever it is, I hope you are all well.  I hope to have better blogs in the near future.  It’s just so damn hard to concentrate these days!

Tschus.

Posted in Cymbalta, Animals, Dogs | No Comments »

6. July 2009 by Bex.

I saw my doc last week.  She is very sympathetic and wants to help me get off this medication.  She bumped me down to 20 mg and wants me to take it everyday for a week, then every other day, then every third, day, etc.  I hope this works.  Taking it everyday is the suck.  It’s hard to get back on it everyday; I don’t sleep, feel jacked up.  I am not a lot of fun to be around lately and have been keeping close to home for the most part.  It’s hard enough functioning at work let alone socializing.  Hopefully this will get better soon!

With that being said, we really didn’t do anything this weekend.  We went out to the park with the dogs and went out for ice cream.  It rained a lot and when it wasn’t rainy, it was steamy/humid/nasty.  But hey, time off is time off.  I’ll take what I can get!

I’m also working on a new cross stitch.  It’s a good way to keep my brain focused and my thoughts off of how I feel.  It’s not done yet but here is what I have so far:

I started stitching Tom Servo last night.  I’ll post a photo after it’s complete.

Hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th!

Posted in Cross stitch, Cymbalta, Dogs, Hobbies, Health | 2 Comments »

15. June 2009 by Bex.

The rain held off long enough for us to participate in the Dog N Jog down in the Country Club Plaza.  True to form, Patton whined and peed the whole way.  He was very good natured, letting strangers pet him, letting other dogs sniff at him and a big puppy even smacked him in the face with its paw a few times.  There were 1000 dogs registered to walk with their humans.  Lots of poop and pooper scoopers were there.  It felt good to support a good cause.  Maybe next year I’ll run it.

Not much else to report.  We ran a lot of errands on Saturday and yesterday we put up a book shelf.  So far it’s holding all my Bruce Campbell stuff and sort of looks like a shrine, according to Ron.  *geek*

Have a good week everyone!  I’m going to load up on Percocet and listen to the thunderstorm.

Posted in Bruce Campbell, Charity, Animals, Dogs, Animal Welfare | No Comments »

10. June 2009 by Bex.

My loving husband, sick and humorous as he is, shared this blog with me today.  If you are having a shitty day, pun intended, read this.  Read it even if you are in a good mood.  You will laugh your ass off!

http://www.zug.com/live/81557/The-Alli-Experiment.html

Not much new to report.  It is supposed to rain on Sunday, well thunderstorm, and we are supposed to participate in the Dog’N'Jog 5K that day.  We are taking Patton with us but he hates thunderstorms.  I hope it doesn’t rain until later in the day.  Regardless, we have already paid the registration fee, thus contributing to the charity whether we go or not.  But hopefully all will go well.  I’m looking forward to it.  (By the way, we are walking it, not running.  I suck at running!)

Here’s the facebook link to the fundraising page: http://www.firstgiving.com/rebeccamartzburley?ref=facebook&type=app

Feel free to contribute if you would like!

Posted in Zug, Animals, Blogs, Dogs, Animal Welfare | 7 Comments »

4. May 2009 by Bex.

Ron’s mom left on Friday; she stayed about a week.  The day after, my ex’s daughter came over for the night.  So we had one night of lounging around in our underwear before we had another guest.  I took her to see Aliens vs Monsters which was pretty cute.  Ten dollars a piece though for admission which is nuts.  This is why I don’t normally go to movies.

Since I’ve been so cooped up in the house, I convinced R and Ron to take the dogs to the park with me.  It’s just a small arboretum and fishing pond/lake.  There’s a huge playground of course but I don’t take the mutts through that part.  It was so nice to get out!  I was surprised that Rowdy was able to make it around the lake.  He was so happy to get out that I decided to take him out again today.  I’m always afraid to walk him too much because of his hips but I think a little exercise is really good for him.

Of course, Sadie took a dip in the lake.  She was nice and rank for the ride home.

My health is ok.  I saw the rheumatologist today and they said to keep up the ‘roids.  Goodie!  (/sarcasm)  Since there doesn’t appear to be any bone damage yet, I don’t need any of the major drugs you see on television commercials.  Thank.  God.  So that’s good news.  Also, I’m still healing from the surgery.  The bruises had all turned a nice sickly yellow but then I wore my jeans for half a day.  Sad to say they were/are too tight.  I ended up bruising myself all over again just from putting compression on the swelling.  Kinda sick actually.  I guess I’ll have to wear my “fat” pants for a while.

(Holy shit, is that ice cream truck just PARKED outside my house?  Ice cream truck music is reaaaaally annoying.)

I’m actually kind of looking forward to work tomorrow.  Weird!  Part of me wants more time to rest and part of me just wants out of the house.  I have done some work from  home and kept up on my work email.  Things are starting to pile up so I really want to get back and start taking care of some research requests.  Maybe I just want to feel useful and keep my job.

Since I’ve had time off, I’ve been trying to take part in more photo theme days on Flickr.   I’m not very creative but I’m having fun trying!  The first was a “robot” theme and the second was “The Big Lebowski.”

Rat vs Robot

“Jesus”

 Happy freakin’ Monday!

Posted in Flickr, Dogs, Television, Family, Health | 1 Comment »

30. April 2009 by Bex.

Ahhh today feels like a normal KC day.  It rained a lot and now the sun is coming out.  That means HUMIDITY!  So it feels very moist in here.  Moist.  Almost sounds like a dirty word, doesn’t it?

I thought I was going to have a really easy time of this surgery but I was totally thrown for a loop.  The amount of bruising isn’t just on the surface but it feels really deep.  Any movement is really painful and it’s hard to get comfortable to sleep.  Last night I was awake, watching TV on the couch until 1:00 AM.  I just slept there rather than risking waking up Ron and the remaining two dogs in our room.  (Not to mention the two little dogs and my mother-in-law asleep in the guest room.)  There really isn’t jack or shit on that late at night.  I watched America’s Next Top Model on the dvr and then tried to watch Brokeback Mountain.  Hmm.

I only watched half of it but I have a few observations.  First, the way the cowboys talked, in a muffled, muttering sort of way, was so familiar.  I myself mutter and have to constantly repeat myself.  It doesn’t help, by the way, that I haven’t lost all my North Dakota accent.  So I was reminded a bit of home and some of my uncles by the way the characters talked.  Their emotional restraint was also familiar.  Second, if you are making a film about two gay cowboys who get it on in the mountains, why would you call it Brokeback Mountain?  Surely they could have chosen a different title.  Maybe Bobcat Mountain or Laramie Peak or anything else.  Cripes.  It’s like calling it Mount-Me Mountain, Cornhole Mountain or Cock-n-Balls Mountain.  That really irked me.  Third, no matter how good looking the actors, man-on-man love is just not attractive.  I’m sure any gay man reading this will disagree but I guess that’s my take on it.

Other than being in pain last night, I was unable to sleep due to some stressful thinking.  My oldest dog, Sadie, is showing signs of poor health.  She’s still eating and drinking, pooping, peeing, all that essential stuff.  However she can never get comfortable, especially at night.  I think it’s due to the huge tumors on her side and her chest and belly.  I’ve known about these tumors for a long time; the tumors are benign, fatty lumps.  They are growing into her abdomen, around her intestines and liver.  Sadie will yelp out of nowhere and we aren’t sure if it is her tumors starting to cause her discomfort.  We’ve been to the vet twice and they don’t know what is wrong.  I could put her through some expensive and stressful tests but I’m not sure I want to go there yet.  I cried about it last night because I don’t want her to be in pain.  If she is going to die soon, I want her to just slip away in her sleep rather than have to take her into a sterile, strange place to be euthanized.  Death is something eventual, we cannot avoid it.  I just pray she can go in peace and comfort at home, without pain.  I guess all we can do is keep an eye on her and try to recognize her comfort levels.

I was also up thinking about my physical health and job requirements.  Soon we will be moving 10,000 square feet of artifacts from one storage space to a better one.  It will be a tough move and I’m not sure how much will be physically demanded from me.  I’m worried I won’t be able to keep up due to the pain and exhaustion I experience.  It’s stressful.  I wonder if I need to find a different job or will they keep me on even though I’m totally useless sometimes?  I don’t want to ever be a burden to anyone, even at work.

I do have some good news though!  I got my genetic test back and I am negative for the gene mutations that cause breast and ovarian cancers.  Hooray!  That doesn’t mean I can’t get it someday but at least I don’t have to seriously consider ripping my ovaries out in the next few years.  (Although there are many days I would love to remove my reproductive organs.)

Finally, since the movie wasn’t holding my interest last night, I watched a raccoon traipsing through our yard.  It was pretty big.  I haven’t seen a lot of raccoons in my time so I was fascinated.  (Now I know what got into the garbage a couple nights ago.)  It seemed almost primate-like the way it was using it’s forepaws to comb through the grass.  I have no idea what it was eating but seeing it does explain the aggressive sniffing and peeing the dogs exhibit every morning.  Like Ron says, “they are cute until they are trying to rip your face off.”

Time to get some work done.  Tschus.

Posted in Animals, Dogs, Movies, Health | 2 Comments »

25. April 2009 by Bex.

I survived, huzzah!  They tried to give me an IV and managed to get my blood all over the floor.  I have to give them props for trying to be really gentle with the IV.  It just didn’t work.  So a different nurse came over and rammed one into my other hand.  I’m pretty bruised all over.  That was my only freak-out.  They couldn’t get the IV in and I started crying and sweating and feeling pukey.  But after that, things were ok.  I got plenty of pain meds and anti-nausea stuff after the surgery.  I went in at 8:00 and was home by 1:00.  Then I had some delicious sleep for four hours.

Today I peeled off all the bandages and found a very nice bruise.  No wonder my stomach hurts so much!  I’m also swollen as hell.  I look like I’m 5 months pregnant.  Or that I’ve been drinking a case of beer a day for a year.  Either/or.

There’s a lot of air in my body that hasn’t been absorbed yet.  It really hurts to take deep breaths but it’s not bad overall.

Ron’s mother is here helping us out.  She brought her two little dogs so we now have a herd.  I say herd instead of pack because it just feels like we’re herding them around or vice versa.  Rowdy got shaved on Thursday and he looks like a little plucked chicken.  I think he feels really good though because he’s more comfortable and walks with his head held high.  Here are some doggie photos from Thursday evening:

Darvocet is wearing off, time to go.  Have a groovy Saturday!

Posted in Dogs, Infertility, Health | 1 Comment »