6. March 2010 by Bex.

Holy shit, long time no blog!  I’d like to say there is nothing new in my life but there is tons going on.  So here is an update:

First off:  We beat Bioshock 2 just in time for the March 11th expansion pack. I haven’t planned any of the online portions of the game yet so I can’t really say much about the multiplayer, online death matches.  However the story was good for a sequel and the graphics, though at first seemed grainy, turned out to be really awesome.  I thought the game was harder overall with more melee type attacks.  Playing it on easy gave you a lot of hints that seemed a little unnecessary but that’s ok too.  I love the art deco themes and the characters are interesting.

Second:  Lasik went awesome!  I can see!  It was horribly uncomfortable and while they give you a lot of valium, that just wears right off when you are under the laser.  It was nice that my husband was allowed to sit in there with me and I clawed the shit out of his hand during the procedure.  But the awfulness lasted only about 20 minutes followed by a horrible ride home.  I took something to help me sleep and by the time I woke up 4 hours later, I felt worn out but fine.  I did have to wear some groovy blinders at night for a few days to keep me from scratching my eyes.

I had some lovely impressions in my flesh every morning.  But it turned out really well and I’m happy with it.  No more contacts or glasses.  Schweet.

I’ve been working pretty hard at my health shit.  I found some books at the Half Price Bookstore which talk about fibromyalgia and endometriosis.  I’m working on a symptom and food diary to try to pinpoint triggers.  During this time I’ve had a fever that came out of nowhere and am trying to figure out if there is any rhyme or reason to things like that.  So we’ll see what comes of this new experiment.  I still would like to lose the rest of the 40lbs I gained.  That means I have another 15-20lbs to go.  Being overweight and chronically ill is not easy.  It just exacerbates all your shit.

No new pets and no pets have passed away, no matter how old and infirm they are.   I’m starting Patton on obedience classes this coming week.  I hope that when he gets over his fear of oh…..EVERYTHING….he will be able to start training for a therapy dog program.  Our vet seems to think he’d be excellent at it because of his very mellow temperament.  He went in today to get his distemper shot and a heart worm test. He’s a very sweet dog and I think he’d be a great ambassador for his part Staffordshire Terrier breed.  So many Pit mixes like him are put down right away or taken from their homes in cities with breed bans.  We are learning a lot about this because of our involvement with a pit bull rescue.  This volunteer work has been very rewarding as well as educational.  Just to get it out there, I fucking hate the media.  I hate them all.  Their mission is to sell news by freaking the shit out of everyone in a community.  Period.  Misinformation be damned!  We have to sell newspapers, ratings, etc!  Fuck the truth!  Ok sorry, I’m off my soapbox for now.

Last couple of thing:  I’m going to take a pinup photography class next weekend.  I’m going by myself, which for a hermit, is a big deal.  I’m freaked out by social situations like this but I think it will be fun and informative.  I think the new pin up style with the tatts and vintage/rockabilly themes are awesome.  This all proceeds the Pinups for Pit Bulls event in KC on the 19th.  I’m all for animal rescue organizations, beer and music.  Now, what to wear?  No clue…  The last item of discussion is that I really want another tattoo.  I’m trying to find something that reminds me of my mother.  Yesterday was the 26th anniversary of her passing.  A long ass time ago.  I really miss her and would like my next tatt to be something to do with her. Ron is pretty ready for more ink so we’re going to investigate some new tattoo parlors.   And finally, I hope to hit up the roller derby around the end of the month.  It’s going to be a girls night comprised of women I work with.  I think we’re going to get a little drunk and watch some chicks on roller skates beat the crap out of each other.  That should be fun!

I’ll update my blog with another stitch or two when the time is right.  I’ve got some ideas on the burner for new embroidery and I’m excited to get started.  So overall things are good but everyday is a learning experience.  Some times I fuck up royally and other days I have things in control.  I can’t seem to predict from one day to the next how it’s going to go.  Just doing the best I can!

Tschus.

Posted in Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, Crafts, Embroidery, Video Games, Dogs, Animals, Hobbies | 1 Comment »

6. December 2009 by Bex.

I’m not sure if it is depression or plain laziness.  I haven’t  been blogging much lately.  Of course, that could also be because of the lack of excitement in my life.

Well ok that’s not entirely it.  We’ve decided to stop trying for a baby for a while.  My period isn’t getting any better, in fact it in some ways is worse.  The pain is still there, although managed by pain killers, but it’s lasting longer and is heavier.  We’ve tried for over a year and nothing.  Well we haven’t tried THAT hard…it hurts to try so much.  On a recent trip to the GYN, I was told some of the pain I experience seems to be related to autoimmune disorders.  Seriously?  So sex is painful and it’s just another by-product of other diseases?  Just kill me now.  She did say she didn’t know what the connection is, only that a lot of women who have similar pain also seem to have immunity issues.

I have also been on steroids for a long time and can’t keep going on that.  I need to go on some real RA drugs and those aren’t good for babies unless you want a super pharmaceutical mutant baby.

I don’t feel like a real woman.  I feel really dumb just TYPING that statement but it’s true.

I’m sure once my hormones even out that I will feel better about it.  Having a birthday coming up isn’t helping as the TICK TICK TICK sound just gets fucking louder.  Plus I’m having all these dreams lately about our children-seeing them, losing them, not being able to have them….they are so real.

It’s not meant to be right now.  In the meantime we’ll keep working towards our goal of getting a house and getting me healthier.  I have been in denial and I can’t live that way anymore.  It isn’t going to get better with nutrition, willpower, bare minimum medication, etc.  This is my life now.  Whether I want it or not, reality is setting in.  I just don’t want to be super medicated but hey, what’s one or two more drugs in my system?

All right, enough whining and bitching.  Life is hard, shit happens, etc. etc. etc.   I’ll get over it and venting is helpful.  Thanks for listening to my discombobulated bitch-fest.

Here are some crafty things I’ve been working on lately.  I’ve only completed one and a half so far because I’ve been too damn depressed to do anymore than that.  *sigh*  I’ll get them finished soon!

Posted in Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Cross stitch, Infertility, Health | 4 Comments »