11. April 2010 by Bex.

So what’s new?  One of my brothers moved to Germany and my sister is going to be a court judge.  Very exciting!  I’m not sure how my other brother is doing right now; I hope he is well.  Myself?  I am up to the same old things.

First, I’m even more disillusioned with my career.  I am in a really negative place right now and I need to figure out how to change my situation or my attitude.  Both are tough things to change.  It’s amazing how toxic stress is to your body.  I’ve never had problems with heartburn until recently and just general stomach pain.  Right after a really stressful event, I get a flareup of my fibromyalgia.  Seems like common sense but when you are going through something very stressful, you get tunnel vision and don’t see the bigger picture.  Something has to give and I just need to figure out what step to take.  I’ve been mulling over this for a long time and I’m sure my blog reflects that.  I’m ready to initiate change though.

Our home buying program has hit a brick wall.  We can’t buy a home here or anywhere until we get over this stalemate with our mortgage counselor.  She won’t answer our emails to clarify some of things she’s asking of us.  We’re extremely frustrated.  I really don’t want to stay in this neighborhood much longer.  We’ve had a lot more cops hanging around.  That makes you feel safer at first - yay!  The cops are here!  But also it’s scary.  Why are the cops here so often?  What is going on?  This place sucks.

On a positive note, I’ve been taking Patton to obedience training once a week.  He’s doing so well!  He does have a thing with peeing on people’s legs however.  And he doesn’t want to do some of the harder things like “lay down” or “shake” but I think we just need some practice.  I’m going to a meeting for people who have or want to train to be certified therapy dogs.  That’s our goal so I have to figure out how to get Patton to that point.  Lots of practice and patience.

Of course, I indulge him too much and this is what happens.

I’m still doing a lot of volunteer work for the Pit Bull rescue.  The dogs are really sweet animals but they definitely need to be with people who understand the breed.  There are so many ignorant and irresponsible people out there.  I can’t believe the emails we get from people who want us to take their dogs because the dog has become aggressive or has too much energy, etc.  “Take the dog or we’ll have to put it to sleep!”  Gah.  But overall it is a very rewarding experience.  If I had the energy to do more, I would definitely do so!

Speaking of energy, I have managed to get a lot more exercise lately.  We are doing the 30 Day Shred, a Jillian Michaels dvd.  That woman is BRUTAL.  The workouts are only 20 minutes but they work everything and I’ve had a few people tell me I look thinner.  I haven’t dropped much weight but I think I’m toning up.  I’ll take that!  If I never lose another pound but can drop a couple sizes, I’m happy.  I just want my muscles to be stronger so I can support my crappy joints better.  So far so good.  I feel better about myself and it definitely helps the stress level.  My husband is so supportive too.  We have a ‘fridge full of veggies.  Good for grillin’.  I feel better having cut out so much crap from my diet.  It doesn’t cure anything and I still have pain.  But it’s better then wallowing in a bag of Doritos and Diet Coke.

And I’m sure you’ve all seen this silly photo by now but this is my pro pic from the Pinups for Pitbulls event at the Record Bar:

I look very pale.

I’ve also been getting my zombie fix lately.  We watched Dead Snow recently and that was hilarious.  It’s Norwegian and subtitled.  There are some fun Evil Dead references which made us laugh.  Very gross and funny stuff.

I just finished reading World War Z by Max Brooks.  It’s written as an oral history post-zombie war.  It’s well written and brought in scenarios you never think about or imagine with traditional zombie movies.  What if North Korea’s bunker system was actually a lot more extensive.  After North Korea sends all its citizens underground, did they all get infected?  When the bunkers are opened up, will there be 7 million zombies in the underground city?  Or what would it be like to go into the all dark, maze-like catacombs under Paris to escape the panic outside.  Only the infected come with you and you have to fight zombies without light or firearms to help you.  Fun, freaky shit.  Very entertaining read!

And the spring zombie walk is coming up on June 4th.  I’ve been talked into going as a zombie this time.  If I don’t have a new job by then, I think I can do it.  I’m thinking zombie paparazzi.  That way I can take as many photos as I want!  I’m such a dork.

I think I’ve yammered on enough for today.  Have a great Sunday!  Tschus!

Posted in Endometriosis, Fibromyalgia, Pin-ups, Thyroiditis, zombies, Rheumatoid Arthritis, NACA, Books, Dogs, Animals, Work, Movies | 1 Comment »

28. October 2009 by Bex.

Here is a quick recap:  We’ve kept somewhat busy on the weekends which can be both good and bad.  We finally used our free tickets to the KC Renaissance Festival and had a nice time eating a turkey leg and drinking Irish ale.  Also in the last couple of weeks we saw Zombieland and Paranormal Activity.  Both very awesome.  If you are looking for a laugh, I highly recommend Zombieland.  Speaking of zombies, Maul of the Dead is at the Coterie and Roxanne and I saw that last weekend.  It was pretty fun!  Great theatre group, everyone should go!  What else…oh!  A good friend from high school dropped in and it was awesome catching up with him.  I really miss familiar faces from home!

We are also still going through the home buyer’s program.  Our counselor thinks we’ll be in the purchasing phase soon.  I really hope that’s true!  We’ll see though.  We may hit a waiting period but that’s ok.  I’m totally cool with moving in the spring rather then the winter.  Either way, we are hiring movers this time!  I can’t physically help Ron lift half this stuff so we’ll need a little help.  I’m so freakin’ excited and scared.  Basically I’m scared of the realities of fixing everything yourself….and having to pay for it.  I think I can handle it though.

I recently had a really negative experience with some people I used to call friends.  However I did get something positive from the situation:  I’ve let my diseases and illnesses shut me off from people.  I’m really going to try to talk to people more often and get together with locals at least once a month or so.  It can be really tough sometimes…when I’m tired out, I just need to rest.  Sleep.  Recharge.  A lot of things like housework and socializing get neglected when you don’t feel well.  Unfortunately these people, who I thought knew what was going on, took my absences personally.  As if I didn’t like them and was using my health as a reason not to see them.  I think that’s pretty silly and thought if a person felt upset, they would talk to me about it.  But whatever makes a person feel good about themselves…  It feels really, really wonderful to cut out negative people from my life.  No more stress on that front…what a relief!  Now if I can only get work to go a little better, I think things would be perfect!

Here are images of the last three projects I worked on.  I have some ideas of things I need and want to do soon.  Some of them involve Christmas presents.  I better get started on those!  November will probably go very quickly.

Come Get Some tote bag feature the almighty Bruce Campbell!

The first of the 1898 Antikamnia Calendar series.

This was a piece done to recognize domestic abuse.  Yes, it’s a personal story.  No, not going to blog about it.  However you can check out Craftster if you want to know more about the piece.  Enough said on that.

Rowdy is shrieking at me to go outside so I’m cutting off the blog for now.  Expect some goofy Halloween pictures next week!

Posted in Crafts, NACA, Craftster, Needlework, Embroidery, Movies, Bruce Campbell, Health | 2 Comments »

18. July 2009 by Bex.

I survived another week of Hell at work.  The harassment has somewhat abated but things have turned into a pretty uncomfortable work environment.  I am trying to get a bunch of medical records together and that is  very time consuming.  I also saw a new doctor yesterday: a neurologist.  She was very nice and talked to me about how Fibromyalgia is a problem with the neuro-receptors in the brain.  The brain processes pain differently and the smallest bit of pain is amplified.  She told me to quit a couple drugs I’m on and try something new.  So here’s to hoping I don’t react negatively to it.  I’m so damn sensitive to chemicals so I’m sure I’ll have at least some side effects.

I’ve been keeping calm and distracted from work by doing more stitching.  It’s been a nice way to keep my sense of humor alive.  Here are my two latest:

I’m going to finally cave and set up an Etsy shop.  More on that later.

I better get going.  We are going to have lunch at the Cinema Suites and watch Transformers 2.  Maybe next weekend we’ll get some tickets to Harry Potter.  I’m so geeked!

I leave you with a photo my friend Summer sent me the other day.  It sums up my feelings from the past two weeks PERFECTLY:

Have a good Saturday!

Posted in Bruce Campbell, Cross stitch, Work, Movies, Hobbies, Health | No Comments »

11. May 2009 by Bex.

Our weekend went pretty well.  Ron and I came to the conclusion that we weren’t getting out and doing anything fun anymore.  In an effort to save money, and due to laziness, we’ve been staying home most weekends.  But we’ve grown lethargic, cranky and bored.  My health problems have compounded the issue and we quit communicating.  I have to say that when a spouse has a chronic illness, the marriage is really affected.  It’s stressful on both people and it just wears everyone out.  Also the outside pressure we, or I, feel to have a baby is getting to be too much.  If it’s going to happen, it will.  I am so tired of hearing about it.  Anyways, we were able to recognize the issues and talk about it.

So in an effort to get out and have a good time together, we went to Fork & a Screen at the AMC Theatre.  Basically you can watch a movie, have a beer and have table side food service.  We saw Star Trek and it was awesome.  I was really worried that the movie would suck, as a lot of prequels do.  However the plot was interesting and the actors were spot on with their characters.  I was really surprised how well Zachary Quinto did as Spock.   Simon Pegg was a great Scottie too.  I recommend the movie even if you aren’t sci fi geeks like we are.  Here’s one of the trailers.  Have a good Monday!

Posted in Movies, Family, Health, General | No Comments »

30. April 2009 by Bex.

Ahhh today feels like a normal KC day.  It rained a lot and now the sun is coming out.  That means HUMIDITY!  So it feels very moist in here.  Moist.  Almost sounds like a dirty word, doesn’t it?

I thought I was going to have a really easy time of this surgery but I was totally thrown for a loop.  The amount of bruising isn’t just on the surface but it feels really deep.  Any movement is really painful and it’s hard to get comfortable to sleep.  Last night I was awake, watching TV on the couch until 1:00 AM.  I just slept there rather than risking waking up Ron and the remaining two dogs in our room.  (Not to mention the two little dogs and my mother-in-law asleep in the guest room.)  There really isn’t jack or shit on that late at night.  I watched America’s Next Top Model on the dvr and then tried to watch Brokeback Mountain.  Hmm.

I only watched half of it but I have a few observations.  First, the way the cowboys talked, in a muffled, muttering sort of way, was so familiar.  I myself mutter and have to constantly repeat myself.  It doesn’t help, by the way, that I haven’t lost all my North Dakota accent.  So I was reminded a bit of home and some of my uncles by the way the characters talked.  Their emotional restraint was also familiar.  Second, if you are making a film about two gay cowboys who get it on in the mountains, why would you call it Brokeback Mountain?  Surely they could have chosen a different title.  Maybe Bobcat Mountain or Laramie Peak or anything else.  Cripes.  It’s like calling it Mount-Me Mountain, Cornhole Mountain or Cock-n-Balls Mountain.  That really irked me.  Third, no matter how good looking the actors, man-on-man love is just not attractive.  I’m sure any gay man reading this will disagree but I guess that’s my take on it.

Other than being in pain last night, I was unable to sleep due to some stressful thinking.  My oldest dog, Sadie, is showing signs of poor health.  She’s still eating and drinking, pooping, peeing, all that essential stuff.  However she can never get comfortable, especially at night.  I think it’s due to the huge tumors on her side and her chest and belly.  I’ve known about these tumors for a long time; the tumors are benign, fatty lumps.  They are growing into her abdomen, around her intestines and liver.  Sadie will yelp out of nowhere and we aren’t sure if it is her tumors starting to cause her discomfort.  We’ve been to the vet twice and they don’t know what is wrong.  I could put her through some expensive and stressful tests but I’m not sure I want to go there yet.  I cried about it last night because I don’t want her to be in pain.  If she is going to die soon, I want her to just slip away in her sleep rather than have to take her into a sterile, strange place to be euthanized.  Death is something eventual, we cannot avoid it.  I just pray she can go in peace and comfort at home, without pain.  I guess all we can do is keep an eye on her and try to recognize her comfort levels.

I was also up thinking about my physical health and job requirements.  Soon we will be moving 10,000 square feet of artifacts from one storage space to a better one.  It will be a tough move and I’m not sure how much will be physically demanded from me.  I’m worried I won’t be able to keep up due to the pain and exhaustion I experience.  It’s stressful.  I wonder if I need to find a different job or will they keep me on even though I’m totally useless sometimes?  I don’t want to ever be a burden to anyone, even at work.

I do have some good news though!  I got my genetic test back and I am negative for the gene mutations that cause breast and ovarian cancers.  Hooray!  That doesn’t mean I can’t get it someday but at least I don’t have to seriously consider ripping my ovaries out in the next few years.  (Although there are many days I would love to remove my reproductive organs.)

Finally, since the movie wasn’t holding my interest last night, I watched a raccoon traipsing through our yard.  It was pretty big.  I haven’t seen a lot of raccoons in my time so I was fascinated.  (Now I know what got into the garbage a couple nights ago.)  It seemed almost primate-like the way it was using it’s forepaws to comb through the grass.  I have no idea what it was eating but seeing it does explain the aggressive sniffing and peeing the dogs exhibit every morning.  Like Ron says, “they are cute until they are trying to rip your face off.”

Time to get some work done.  Tschus.

Posted in Animals, Dogs, Movies, Health | 2 Comments »

29. March 2009 by Bex.

I was told on Thursday that my MRI showed a septate uterus so at least I know I get to have the lesser evil of the surgery options.  Hooray, I guess!  Ron is going with me tomorrow to talk to the doctor about what exactly they are going to do, how they are going to do it and when.  I can’t wait to go back to my favorite hospital, OP Regional.  Where they rush you out of the door 10 minutes after you wake up from surgery, whether you can piss on your own or not.  This time not only will my husband be a lot more aggressive with them, but they will have my mother-in-law to deal with as well.  I pity those poor fuckin’ nurses.  I’m looking forward to finding out more tomorrow and getting this over with as soon as possible.

Yesterday we hunkered down, waiting out the sleet and snow.  It’s pretty much all melted today.  I expect that to be end of our shitty weather.  Soon it will be muggy, oppressive and full of mosquitoes.  Maybe we’ll get lucky and get somewhat of a Spring this year.

Today we watched some movies.  To my surprise, I really enjoyed The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.  It’s a documentary about a nice guy named Steven Wiebe who tries to beat Billy Martin’s world record in Donkey Kong:

At first it seems like a comical look at gamer nerds but then it turns into a poignant look at one man’s quest to finally be recognized for something.  I’d love to run into the biggest dork/loser/POS, Billy Martin, someday.  I’d love to tell him what I think of his hairstyle.

This movie streams through the XBox via Netflix so GET IT.  You’ll love it.

We also watched The Golden Compass and Vantage Point.  The Golden Compass was really a great fantasy movie and it sucks that it didn’t do very well at the box office.  I’m not sure there will ever be a sequel and the movie ends in a way that really leaves the viewer hanging.  I need to read the books and find out what is missing.  Vantage Point was pretty annoying but the last action sequence was pretty frickin’ cool.  No spoilers here so I’ll let you see them yourselves.

Other than that, not much is going on.  Steroids are great for adding energy and taking away joint pain.  However they are shit for the waistline.  Fuck.  Maybe I can handle taking them every other day?  I don’t know.  I’m tired of feeling like a stuffed sausage in my jeans.

It’s almost time for my favorite Sunday night trash, Rock of Love.  I just can’t stop watching Bret Michaels spreading around the Hep!

Ewwww.

Posted in Television, Movies, Infertility, Health | 4 Comments »