11. April 2010 by Bex.

So what’s new?  One of my brothers moved to Germany and my sister is going to be a court judge.  Very exciting!  I’m not sure how my other brother is doing right now; I hope he is well.  Myself?  I am up to the same old things.

First, I’m even more disillusioned with my career.  I am in a really negative place right now and I need to figure out how to change my situation or my attitude.  Both are tough things to change.  It’s amazing how toxic stress is to your body.  I’ve never had problems with heartburn until recently and just general stomach pain.  Right after a really stressful event, I get a flareup of my fibromyalgia.  Seems like common sense but when you are going through something very stressful, you get tunnel vision and don’t see the bigger picture.  Something has to give and I just need to figure out what step to take.  I’ve been mulling over this for a long time and I’m sure my blog reflects that.  I’m ready to initiate change though.

Our home buying program has hit a brick wall.  We can’t buy a home here or anywhere until we get over this stalemate with our mortgage counselor.  She won’t answer our emails to clarify some of things she’s asking of us.  We’re extremely frustrated.  I really don’t want to stay in this neighborhood much longer.  We’ve had a lot more cops hanging around.  That makes you feel safer at first - yay!  The cops are here!  But also it’s scary.  Why are the cops here so often?  What is going on?  This place sucks.

On a positive note, I’ve been taking Patton to obedience training once a week.  He’s doing so well!  He does have a thing with peeing on people’s legs however.  And he doesn’t want to do some of the harder things like “lay down” or “shake” but I think we just need some practice.  I’m going to a meeting for people who have or want to train to be certified therapy dogs.  That’s our goal so I have to figure out how to get Patton to that point.  Lots of practice and patience.

Of course, I indulge him too much and this is what happens.

I’m still doing a lot of volunteer work for the Pit Bull rescue.  The dogs are really sweet animals but they definitely need to be with people who understand the breed.  There are so many ignorant and irresponsible people out there.  I can’t believe the emails we get from people who want us to take their dogs because the dog has become aggressive or has too much energy, etc.  “Take the dog or we’ll have to put it to sleep!”  Gah.  But overall it is a very rewarding experience.  If I had the energy to do more, I would definitely do so!

Speaking of energy, I have managed to get a lot more exercise lately.  We are doing the 30 Day Shred, a Jillian Michaels dvd.  That woman is BRUTAL.  The workouts are only 20 minutes but they work everything and I’ve had a few people tell me I look thinner.  I haven’t dropped much weight but I think I’m toning up.  I’ll take that!  If I never lose another pound but can drop a couple sizes, I’m happy.  I just want my muscles to be stronger so I can support my crappy joints better.  So far so good.  I feel better about myself and it definitely helps the stress level.  My husband is so supportive too.  We have a ‘fridge full of veggies.  Good for grillin’.  I feel better having cut out so much crap from my diet.  It doesn’t cure anything and I still have pain.  But it’s better then wallowing in a bag of Doritos and Diet Coke.

And I’m sure you’ve all seen this silly photo by now but this is my pro pic from the Pinups for Pitbulls event at the Record Bar:

I look very pale.

I’ve also been getting my zombie fix lately.  We watched Dead Snow recently and that was hilarious.  It’s Norwegian and subtitled.  There are some fun Evil Dead references which made us laugh.  Very gross and funny stuff.

I just finished reading World War Z by Max Brooks.  It’s written as an oral history post-zombie war.  It’s well written and brought in scenarios you never think about or imagine with traditional zombie movies.  What if North Korea’s bunker system was actually a lot more extensive.  After North Korea sends all its citizens underground, did they all get infected?  When the bunkers are opened up, will there be 7 million zombies in the underground city?  Or what would it be like to go into the all dark, maze-like catacombs under Paris to escape the panic outside.  Only the infected come with you and you have to fight zombies without light or firearms to help you.  Fun, freaky shit.  Very entertaining read!

And the spring zombie walk is coming up on June 4th.  I’ve been talked into going as a zombie this time.  If I don’t have a new job by then, I think I can do it.  I’m thinking zombie paparazzi.  That way I can take as many photos as I want!  I’m such a dork.

I think I’ve yammered on enough for today.  Have a great Sunday!  Tschus!

Posted in Endometriosis, Fibromyalgia, Pin-ups, Thyroiditis, zombies, Rheumatoid Arthritis, NACA, Books, Dogs, Animals, Work, Movies | 1 Comment »

20. March 2010 by Bex.

The last couple of weeks have been really tough health-wise.  I’ve felt really run down, achey, nauseous, etc.  I hope that is because I’m trying to wean of steroids but I’m not sure.  I’d really like to just feel like a healthy person for a change.  Sheesh.

Our home buyer’s program is dicking us around a little bit.  We are very close to being approved but they want a lot of information that we didn’t believe was necessary.  It’s frustrating to get this far and then have them pull you back and ask for documents from 5 years ago.  We are also wondering if we should move to the program in Phoenix.  I feel a lot of guilt for not being closer to my brother and helping him out.  I wonder if there is anything to hold us back in KC?  Ron can work anywhere for his job and I don’t have any good career prospects in this town.  I’m not sure what to do.  The housing market has tanked and homes are so cheap in AZ right now.  I wish I could see a big sign over my head saying “DO IT!  LOVE, GOD.”  Just something to give me a clue what the right decision is.  Go?  Stay?  What will help my health?  Complete sedation and/or lobotomy?  I guess we’ll think more about it if and when we get approved for the home.  I’m so tired.

Last weekend I attended a pin-up class at Vixen Pin-up Photography studio.  The class gave tips on how to do hair and makeup and where to look for vintage-style clothing.  It was pretty fun!  There were drinks, awesome people and good girly tips.  I grew up such a tomboy that I never learned to naturally feel very feminine.  I clean up ok, but always feel awkward when I try to look girly.  It was great timing for the event last night: Pinups for Pitbulls.  They are a non-profit out of Philly and they raise money for education about bully breeds.  Miss February is a fellow volunteer and so there was a fundraiser here in KC last night.  It was pretty fun!  I forgot how much I love live music and the crowd was really cool.  The music was rockabilly and metal, so a little bit of variety.  I even ran into a gal from the class and I think we’ll be friends now.  She was super awesome.  My buddy S. went with me so thankfully I didn’t have to go alone (Ron is up in da north!) and she and I had a blast.  Good times.  I remember what it was like to get out and do stuff at night!

I followed their hair and makeup tips as faithfully as I could and tried to photo doc a little of it.  It took forever and I’m not sure how women do this shit everyday.

No makeup, hair curled and pinned:

Makeup done and hair unpinned:

Not sure how the hell to put in the victory curls and I’m feeling a little fluffy:

Finally done!  3 1/2 hours after getting into the bath:

These guys were the Death Valley Wolf Riders.  They sounded similar to Zombie:

The two lovely ladies on the left were the instructors for the class.  The gal on the left is the photographer and does hair and she is amazing!  The gal in the middle does makeup and her tips for makeup were so awesome.  I’m hoping to book some studio time for fun someday.  They were the nicest ladies!  My new friend from class is on the right.  She boogied with me for a bit

Most of my photos are pretty blurry because I don’t know how to take good low-light photographs.  And I feel like a dick sticking a flash in people’s faces so there ya go.

The last big news of late is that Ron got his second tattoo.  He got an image of Samus from Metroid.  He is absolutely in love with it and it turned out really well.  It was kinda fun to watch him get it:

So once again this blog is all over the place!  But since I don’t blog more than once or twice every two weeks, I have to throw it all together.  I keep saying I’ll do better but life always gets in the way.

Until next time….tschus.

Posted in Pin-ups, NACA, Charity, Health, Animal Welfare | 2 Comments »

28. October 2009 by Bex.

Here is a quick recap:  We’ve kept somewhat busy on the weekends which can be both good and bad.  We finally used our free tickets to the KC Renaissance Festival and had a nice time eating a turkey leg and drinking Irish ale.  Also in the last couple of weeks we saw Zombieland and Paranormal Activity.  Both very awesome.  If you are looking for a laugh, I highly recommend Zombieland.  Speaking of zombies, Maul of the Dead is at the Coterie and Roxanne and I saw that last weekend.  It was pretty fun!  Great theatre group, everyone should go!  What else…oh!  A good friend from high school dropped in and it was awesome catching up with him.  I really miss familiar faces from home!

We are also still going through the home buyer’s program.  Our counselor thinks we’ll be in the purchasing phase soon.  I really hope that’s true!  We’ll see though.  We may hit a waiting period but that’s ok.  I’m totally cool with moving in the spring rather then the winter.  Either way, we are hiring movers this time!  I can’t physically help Ron lift half this stuff so we’ll need a little help.  I’m so freakin’ excited and scared.  Basically I’m scared of the realities of fixing everything yourself….and having to pay for it.  I think I can handle it though.

I recently had a really negative experience with some people I used to call friends.  However I did get something positive from the situation:  I’ve let my diseases and illnesses shut me off from people.  I’m really going to try to talk to people more often and get together with locals at least once a month or so.  It can be really tough sometimes…when I’m tired out, I just need to rest.  Sleep.  Recharge.  A lot of things like housework and socializing get neglected when you don’t feel well.  Unfortunately these people, who I thought knew what was going on, took my absences personally.  As if I didn’t like them and was using my health as a reason not to see them.  I think that’s pretty silly and thought if a person felt upset, they would talk to me about it.  But whatever makes a person feel good about themselves…  It feels really, really wonderful to cut out negative people from my life.  No more stress on that front…what a relief!  Now if I can only get work to go a little better, I think things would be perfect!

Here are images of the last three projects I worked on.  I have some ideas of things I need and want to do soon.  Some of them involve Christmas presents.  I better get started on those!  November will probably go very quickly.

Come Get Some tote bag feature the almighty Bruce Campbell!

The first of the 1898 Antikamnia Calendar series.

This was a piece done to recognize domestic abuse.  Yes, it’s a personal story.  No, not going to blog about it.  However you can check out Craftster if you want to know more about the piece.  Enough said on that.

Rowdy is shrieking at me to go outside so I’m cutting off the blog for now.  Expect some goofy Halloween pictures next week!

Posted in Crafts, NACA, Craftster, Needlework, Embroidery, Movies, Bruce Campbell, Health | 2 Comments »

10. October 2009 by Bex.

Things are better.  Why you ask?  Well I got a new endocrinologist who agreed to ramp up my Synthroid a bit.  Yes, my levels appeared normal but I didn’t feel right.  Most docs at this point would argue it’s all in my head, it’s the RA, it’s the fibro, I’m crazy, etc.  This one actually agreed to let me try a higher dose.  And guess what?  I feel better!  More energy, less depressed.  What a concept-listening to the patient.  Gnarly.

We also had our first one-on-one meeting with a NACA representative.  Although she is an ardent animal hater, we were happy with our session.  If all goes well, Ron and I will be in our first home together in around 6 months.  No money down, no closing costs, fixed rate, low mortgage.  No shit.  I was so happy to hear that, I had to do another self-evaluation of my priorities.  Is it more important for me to find my dream job right now?  Or is getting a home and being settled more important?  Unfortunately I’m putting my career second, or third.  I want to be happy with my job everyday but uprooting again and moving to a different state is going to be so hard.  I’m just starting to feel better and don’t want to start over with doctors.  Therefore I decided to withdraw my applications for jobs out of state.  I’m really excited to be in my very first home!!

We’ve also got a lot to do this weekend.  It’s cold though so that might limit how much we do.  Today is another Zombie Walk which starts at 3:00 on the Plaza.  The high is only 49 degrees today so I’m unsure if I really want to run around outside.  Speaking of zombies, we also really want to see Zombieland this weekend.  Perhaps we’ll do that instead.  And tomorrow night we have tickets to see Lewis Black, one of Ron’s favorite comedians.  We’re pretty geeked about that!

Finally, here is my cross-stitch that I referred to in a previous post.  The recipient received it so I was able to make the photo public finally.  I kind of miss this piece.  It looked good sitting in our living room.

I did a piece yesterday for a Craftster challenge and I’ll have that posted by Monday.  I’m also working on a piece I patterned after an obscure 1898 calendar.  Hopefully that will be done soon.  I’ve got to stitch something together to trade with a woman at work who makes and fixes jewelry.  I’ve got some things for her to fix!

That is about all I can think of for now.  This is a busy month so I’m sure there will be more blog posts to come.  Tschus!

Posted in NACA, Craftster, Crafts, Needlework, Work, Cross stitch, Health | No Comments »

11. September 2009 by Bex.

I have meant to blog, I really have.  I think I’ve been overwhelmed and lazy.  I also have hesitated in posting because I am aware an old internet stalker-type is back on my track.  I didn’t want to post because I’m sure he’s reading my stuff again (why, I don’t know) but fuck it.  I can’t stop being me just because of someone else’s actions.

Since my last post I’ve kep myself busy with various stitching projects.  I’ve had to order some supplies to finish framing but otherwise they are done:

I started another photograph-to-embroider piece and am busy with that.  I’m hoping to get it done before Breast Cancer Awareness Month starts up in October.  I’ve also got to clean up another pattern for a stitching swap I’m participating in.  I’m hoping it will turn out well!!  If anyone wants, I can start posting patterns.

The hell that is Cymbalta is almost over.  I haven’t had any in a couple of weeks and the only thing I notice now is that I’m a bit down in the dumps.  I think it was boosting serotonin as a means of blocking pain.  I don’t want to go on more drugs to get my natural serotonin to start producing itself again.  So I’m not sure what I should do about it right now.  For anyone reading this, just know there is hope to get off this shit, or anything else you are taking and want to be off of.  So the fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis are still a big part of my life.  I’m trying to figure out how to be active and get exercise without exacerbating the illnesses.  And the endometriosis still sucks.  Some days of the month I can hardly walk because it hurts so much.  I got more pain medication today and it was hard to sit in an office full of little babies and pregnant women.  It seems so easy for people to get knocked up.  I wonder why I can’t?  The doctor ordered a lab test so they are going to see what a bunch of hormone levels are up to right now.  I’m curious.

Also since my last post, Ron and I attended a home buyer’s workshop.   They are a non-profit group and claim they can help anyone get into a home.  We are a tough case!  Both of us carry student loan debt and credit card debt.  My health crap eats away at a lot of our funds.  Not to mention a recent $1000 car repair bill.  We just can’t seem to get ahead!  But we aren’t giving up and we have our first meeting next week with this group.  I found their presentation to be very interesting and it fired up the activist in me.  Damn the big lending companies!  Check out www.naca.com for more information.  They have locations all over the country.  If you go through their program, the big banks fulfill a federal law that says they need to loan so much a year to programs like this and you get a locked in low interest rate, no closing costs and no downpayment.  Not bad eh?  The catch is you have to go through a strict budget through their program to prove you can make your mortgage payments.

We’ve got lots going on this month which is good.  Good to be busy I guess.  We are going to help out an historic cemetery later in the month.  They need people to help weed and maintain headstones.  I’m also going to talk to someone about helping with their history book project.  And we have free tickets to the Twins/Royals game that night, which I’m really looking forward to.  I got to tour the Kaufman stadium but didn’t stay for a game.  We did see a minor league game not long ago, the T-Bones vs Joliet.  Again, free tickets!  I’m afraid that’s all anyone can afford these days.  If it isn’t free, we try not to do it anymore.

Here are some photos from the last few weeks.  Hopefully I can keep more on top of the blog from now on.

Posted in Cross stitch, NACA, Baseball, Crime, Cymbalta, History, Infertility, Health | No Comments »