13. February 2010 by Bex.

I’ve been trying to blog for a few days but not a lot is coming to me.  It’s like everything: I have a lot I want to do, and little energy and motivation to do it.  Cooking, cleaning, stitching, photography, etc.

So here is a general catch-up.

A few weeks ago I brought home a sick rat from the nature center and nursed her back to reasonable health.  I got attached to the damn thing and was going to keep her, but as rats are social creatures, knew I had to get her a cage mate.  So I got her a cage mate and she tried to kill it.  So we picked up the litter mate for the new one and took the nursed one back to work.  I feel horrible but in the end it all worked out.  The now-healthier one is back with her old cage mate and the new one I got has her sister with her.  So now, not really meaning to, I have two new rats.  They are baby Dumbo rats, with the huge ears.  Very cute.  But the house is a step away from officially becoming a petting zoo.  I either need to have a kid or have my uterus removed.

Ash the rat

Samus

At work this week there was another round of layoffs.  That was tough.  I am safe because of how our department is funded but that doesn’t isolate me or my coworkers from the stress around us or the extra work we all have.  So it sucks, but life goes on.  I’ve been thinking of taking some classes in criminal justice to open up other areas where I can work.  Whether or not this is actually going to help me, I have yet to figure out.  But I’m exploring my options and maybe I can do records work in a court house or police station someday.

Ron and I are fighting over using the XBox.  A lot of good games came out in the last few weeks.  We picked up Mass Effect 2, Bioshock 2 and Dante’s Inferno.  If we didn’t have to leave the house for food or work, we’d barricade ourselves inside.  We did manage to get to the gym today and I am about to start cleaning up the house a little….so we aren’t too bad off.  If we stop bathing and start defecating in diapers, call social services.

Mass Effect 2 (Ron’s game)

Bioshock 2 (very sweet)

Dante’s Inferno (very visually appealing and gross)

Other than that, I’m worried about my ex’s daughter.  She’s at a very vulnerable age and is having normal teenage issues on top of other issues.  It’s a recipe for disaster and I’m not sure her parents are aware of how serious it is.  I’m pretty pissed off about it to be honest but don’t want to type too much about it publicly.  All I can do is spend time with her when I can and be an ear for her.  I expect I’ll see her next weekend if my eyeball surgery on Friday goes well.

That leads me to my eyeballs.  I’ve been wearing my glasses for a couple months because I’ve been going through pre-screening and screening for Lasik.  My surgery is the 19th and I’m pretty excited but a little freaked out too.  I guess it takes just minutes so at least it is quick.  What is a little unnerving is having just finished reading A Clockwork Orange, having my eye lids pried open does not appeal to me.

Here’s to hoping they don’t inundate my brain with some kind of programming.  Unless it’s “This Will Make You Wealthy” programming.

That’s about all I can think of right now.  Aren’t I exciting???

Posted in Work, Books, Video Games | 6 Comments »

10. October 2009 by Bex.

Things are better.  Why you ask?  Well I got a new endocrinologist who agreed to ramp up my Synthroid a bit.  Yes, my levels appeared normal but I didn’t feel right.  Most docs at this point would argue it’s all in my head, it’s the RA, it’s the fibro, I’m crazy, etc.  This one actually agreed to let me try a higher dose.  And guess what?  I feel better!  More energy, less depressed.  What a concept-listening to the patient.  Gnarly.

We also had our first one-on-one meeting with a NACA representative.  Although she is an ardent animal hater, we were happy with our session.  If all goes well, Ron and I will be in our first home together in around 6 months.  No money down, no closing costs, fixed rate, low mortgage.  No shit.  I was so happy to hear that, I had to do another self-evaluation of my priorities.  Is it more important for me to find my dream job right now?  Or is getting a home and being settled more important?  Unfortunately I’m putting my career second, or third.  I want to be happy with my job everyday but uprooting again and moving to a different state is going to be so hard.  I’m just starting to feel better and don’t want to start over with doctors.  Therefore I decided to withdraw my applications for jobs out of state.  I’m really excited to be in my very first home!!

We’ve also got a lot to do this weekend.  It’s cold though so that might limit how much we do.  Today is another Zombie Walk which starts at 3:00 on the Plaza.  The high is only 49 degrees today so I’m unsure if I really want to run around outside.  Speaking of zombies, we also really want to see Zombieland this weekend.  Perhaps we’ll do that instead.  And tomorrow night we have tickets to see Lewis Black, one of Ron’s favorite comedians.  We’re pretty geeked about that!

Finally, here is my cross-stitch that I referred to in a previous post.  The recipient received it so I was able to make the photo public finally.  I kind of miss this piece.  It looked good sitting in our living room.

I did a piece yesterday for a Craftster challenge and I’ll have that posted by Monday.  I’m also working on a piece I patterned after an obscure 1898 calendar.  Hopefully that will be done soon.  I’ve got to stitch something together to trade with a woman at work who makes and fixes jewelry.  I’ve got some things for her to fix!

That is about all I can think of for now.  This is a busy month so I’m sure there will be more blog posts to come.  Tschus!

Posted in NACA, Craftster, Crafts, Needlework, Work, Cross stitch, Health | No Comments »

24. September 2009 by Bex.

Career stress is upon us.  It’s hard to move up in this career field when there aren’t job openings in the area.  To move or not to move? I like KC a lot!  However I’m not sure I can physically handle the stress here anymore.

I’ve put out some lines and had a couple bites.  So it may be in our future to move out of state.  I’m pretty nervous about this but I can’t get a head of myself.  It’s quite possible I won’t get anything.

This is tough because I can’t blog in detail without risking my current situation but I do feel the need to just vent.  So I guess I have to write this slightly cryptic, crappy blog post to hit somewhere in the middle.

Ah hell, we’ll see what goes down in the next couple of weeks.  I’ll try not to be such the control freak/worry wort that I am!

Posted in Work, Health, General | No Comments »

30. July 2009 by Bex.

It’s been about six months now since I started trying to get off Cymbalta.  Since then my Fibro has become worse.  I’ve had to start a new drug through a neurologist, I just started physical therapy, and I’ve had to ask for FMLA leave and ADA accommodations.  I can’t talk about things at work because I will likely be fired.  I don’t want that!  Maybe when it is all over, I can fill you all in.

My brain is pretty fuzzy lately.  I can’t seem to remember things on the short term and I have a hard time concentrating.  Video games are near impossible right now.  I have to take the Cymbalta every three to four days, at the same time I take my normal drug cocktail.  That doesn’t feel very good….racing heart, nausea, sweating.  It only lasts a few hours but it’s not pretty.  Until I can get off this horrible drug, I’ll have to put up with it.

That’s about all for my update right now.  Like I said above, I just can’t concentrate!

Posted in Cymbalta, Work, Health | No Comments »

18. July 2009 by Bex.

I survived another week of Hell at work.  The harassment has somewhat abated but things have turned into a pretty uncomfortable work environment.  I am trying to get a bunch of medical records together and that is  very time consuming.  I also saw a new doctor yesterday: a neurologist.  She was very nice and talked to me about how Fibromyalgia is a problem with the neuro-receptors in the brain.  The brain processes pain differently and the smallest bit of pain is amplified.  She told me to quit a couple drugs I’m on and try something new.  So here’s to hoping I don’t react negatively to it.  I’m so damn sensitive to chemicals so I’m sure I’ll have at least some side effects.

I’ve been keeping calm and distracted from work by doing more stitching.  It’s been a nice way to keep my sense of humor alive.  Here are my two latest:

I’m going to finally cave and set up an Etsy shop.  More on that later.

I better get going.  We are going to have lunch at the Cinema Suites and watch Transformers 2.  Maybe next weekend we’ll get some tickets to Harry Potter.  I’m so geeked!

I leave you with a photo my friend Summer sent me the other day.  It sums up my feelings from the past two weeks PERFECTLY:

Have a good Saturday!

Posted in Bruce Campbell, Cross stitch, Work, Movies, Hobbies, Health | No Comments »

27. June 2009 by Bex.

We just finished watching a Netflix movie that I stupidly rented: An American Crime.  It’s about a very disturbed woman who took in two teens as borders and with the help of her own children and neighborhood kids, tortured and killed one of the teens.  True story, happened in Indiana in 1965.  I cried at the end because it was so f’d up and it reminded me of some shit I read while working at the Nebraska State Penitentiary.  That must have been one of the worst jobs I’ve ever had, way worse then telemarketing!

So what happens when you get a bachelor of arts degree in history?  Nothing.  Jack shit.  You can’t get a job with a BA in history.  I signed up with the State of Nebraska to take temporary jobs.  One of the jobs I obtained was working in the records office of the State Penitentiary.  Talk about an intimidating place to work.  I think I had diarrhea almost every day while I was there.  The Pen is located on the original land where it was built in the late 1800’s.  It used to be a self-sustaining farm, with barns, fields, cattle…the works.

It’s a whole other world.  I can’t really explain it fully but I will try.  When you walk into work everyday, you go through this little alcove that takes you down some stairs.  From there you walk through a hallway to the security desk.  Basically this hallway takes you underground, underneath the fence and into the penitentiary, or the “secure area.”  Once you get to the desk you have to show the security officers the inside of your lunch bag, your purse or anything else they ask to see.  If you have anything perceived as contraband, you have to leave it at the desk.  For instance, no butter knives from home.  No perfume.  No sharp objects (obviously.)  You also have to show your badge.  Then you get buzzed into the office.

The offices are all on the “safe” side.  There aren’t cells or inmates on that side.  Unless you consider the community corrections inmates they bus in everyday to clean the offices.  Because these people are hanging around, temps like me were never allowed to be left alone at any time.  I had to be escorted everywhere.  Permanent employees went through a rigorous self-defense class.  We also had to keep letter openers and scissors locked in our desks when not in use.  Every month a guard would come through and ask to see inside this drawer and if your shit wasn’t in there, you were in big trouble.

There were other offices on the “secure” side, like the warden’s office.  The cafeteria and vending machines were also over there, as well as the place where inmates were processed for transfer, parole, etc.  Any time I went on that side, I was escorted by a permanent employee.  You had to go through a door controlled by a guard in a booth.  Once inside, you would wait for the door behind you to close completely and then the guard would open the door in front of you to enter the secure side.  I went over there to eat my lunches a couple times and also to watch an inmate transfer.  I never ate the cafeteria food because the inmates cooked and served the food.  Shortly after I started, the State ruled it was ok for inmates with Hepatitis to work in the cafeteria.  Um, no thanks.

Every time an inmate moved around the facility or went to court, a piece of paper was generated.  It was my job to file all the paperwork into the inmate files.  I also processed FBI reports on inmates into a database.  Because I had access to all the files, and because I was bored and curious, I often read PSI’s and other information.  PSI’s are Pre-Sentence Investigations.  When a person was convicted, a PSI was done to help figure out the appropriate sentence and what kind of facility he/she should be housed in.  If they had a violent past, they were put in a medium or maximum facility.  If they were a first time offender or had a fairly good past, they were put into a minimum security environment.  I read some scary shit in those reports.  I saw autopsy photos.  I read about violent crimes, child molestation, rape, abuse, murder, you name it.  Some of that stuff has stuck with me.  Maybe that’s why I love scary monster/zombie/vampire/stupid movies.  They aren’t real.  I can get a thrill or a laugh or scared without feeling like the world is a horrible, evil place.

I’m not sure how any of the people who work there can stay there for very long.  I noticed that some of them were not much different then the inmates.  Some were wonderful, sincere people.  A lot of them were cynical, twisted, adulterous, f’d up people.  I heard about affairs between employees, between employees and inmates, etc.  One guy who managed the maximum security section joked about the guards needing shooting practice:  better toss a couple inmates over the fence so they can shoot at them from the towers.  Now, understand that there is a lot of stress in this profession and I think the sick jokes were what kept people going sometimes.  But I realized if I stayed there, I would become as jaded as everyone else.  I didn’t want that for myself.  I applied for and was granted admission to graduate school so I stuck it out until school started that fall.

One thing I did before I left was to go on a tour of the facility with the new hire guards.  I was the only female in the group.  It lasted three hours and I didn’t even see everything.  We went to the medical facility, through the cafeteria, to the minimum security section, medium and then maximum security.  We also saw where the inmates made license plates and where the wood shop was.  We saw the old cemetary and the old animal barns.  Let me tell you that walking through the yard with all the inmates around me was scary.  It’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever done.  They said some sick shit to me, offensive things.  And by the time I quit working there, the inmates knew my name.  Somehow, they know who you are.  They find out shit about you.  A year after I worked there, I had a collect call from an inmate that I refused.  Nice, huh?

Ever see the movie, Boys Don’t Cry?  A transgendered woman lives like a man and the crowd she hung out with found out.  Two assholes raped her and the sheriff didn’t do shit for her when she filed a report.  So the assholes murdered her and two of her friends.  Well the assholes were at the Pen during my time there and I heard all about all the women who sent John Lotter money and love letters.  And the homophobe of a sheriff?  He’d pretty much been demoted and came in one day for an inmate transfer.  He’s a POS lackey now.

I did mention to a guard once that I’d never seen ‘Ol Sparky.  He offered to show me and being the curious person I am, I agreed.  Turns out it is right behind the security desk, where you first walk in.  It’s pretty unremarkable but definitely something you don’t see everyday.

It’s actually in a room about the size of a closet.  I don’t think they still use it as a primary means of execution.  I used to be on the fence about the death penalty.  Then I worked at the Pen.  I support it now.

I guess looking back it was a positive experience for the most part.  I have a greater appreciation for law enforcement personnel and corrections people.  I guess it’s just not the job for me.  But it was a really interesting look at a portion of society I never knew about.

So that’s my story.  I spent time in the Nebraska State Penitentiary.

Posted in Nebraska, Crime, Work | 1 Comment »

4. June 2009 by Bex.

I started an account on Imagekind.com a while ago.  It’s a lot like art.com but anyone can upload images to sell.  It’s also a great way of connecting with other artists, most of whom are commercial artists.  Also people start accounts there so they can print and frame their images.  Everyday they feature certain artists and artwork and today one of mine is there.  I’m really happy and excited about it.  I’ve been in a creative slump lately and this was just the motivation I needed to continue.

I have a couple photography field trips planned.  I’d like to visit some of the area historic cemeteries.  There is also a KC Zombie Walk tomorrow downtown.  What a cool opportunity to get some unique shots!  Here is the link: http://www.myspace.com/kczombies.  I think it will be unique and fun and it coincides with First Friday in the Crossroads Art District.  http://www.kccrossroads.org/  I’ll be sure to post images later.

I also want to mention today that I got a bunch of free tickets to the Narnia exhibit.  If any of the locals are interested in going, I can give you a ticket or two.  Please let me know and I’ll hook you up!  I think it’s safe to say that the success of the exhibit will help to extend my job and the jobs of many others.  Kind of a big deal.

That’s my exciting news.  I have to say I’m tickled freakin’ pink about the photo site.  It really makes me want to keep trying.  I never expect to make a dime from anything I shoot.  I’m simply doing it because I love it.  It’s a great outlet for an introvert like me.

I leave you with my favorite youtube video of the day, Advanced Cat Yodeling:

Posted in Photography, Work, Museum Exhibits, Hobbies | No Comments »

24. May 2009 by Bex.

Whenever I’m out driving around, I have all these potential blog posts running through my brain.  But by the time I find myself back in front of a computer, I’ve forgotten everything.  Now my brain is mush, yet here I sit, trying to squeak out something interesting.

Despite attempts at living a normal, healthy life, we’ve been hit with a couple fun ailments.  I spent a week pissing blood and the next week Ron threw his back out completely.  Since it happened at work, he’s home and doing the workman’s comp thing.  He has an MRI scheduled this week and hopefully they can figure out how to help him.  He’s in an incredible amount of pain.  We’re only in our early 30’s and we haven’t even had kids yet.  But we’re both walking around like old people.  This does not bode well.  Maybe they can outfit a stroller to also be a walker?  Seriously, I think another year of working on my health and having time to spend with Ron by myself is a good thing.  I still think we’ll have to adopt and maybe that is a good thing to start working on next year.

Work has been filled lately with helping researchers, fighting with the IT department to fix computer issues so I can scan images and assessing the condition of wax phonographs from the late 1890’s.  One of the things I love about my job is the variety of work I do.  I can sit at a computer all day and the next day find myself pulling old mattresses out of a really old train car.

The big hoopla at work lately has been the opening of The Chronicles of Narnia exhibit.  www.unionistation.org  It has a lot of props and costumes from the Narnia movies and it also talks about global climate issues and environmentalism.  They tied that theme into it based on the White Witch’s attempts to basically create an ice age on earth.  The sets are really rich and interesting and it’s cool to see objects and costumes.  The interactives are interesting as well.  I didn’t take any photos of the inside of the exhibit but I took this picture of a Giant outside the ticketing office:

Our department didn’t help set this exhibit up.  Because this is a private company’s exhibit and because the objects are mostly props, they didn’t need museum professionals to do the installation.  I’ve worked with this company before to install an exhibit and it’s very different from working with a museum exhibit.  No white gloves on this one. 

So there you have it! That’s my update, for now. I have other things I want to blog about but Roxanne is here for the last time until the end of summer. Hope everyone is having a groovy holiday!Tschus!

Posted in Work, Museum Exhibits, Health, General | 2 Comments »